Employee Handbook

• Every coin launched here is an employee of The Pump Office: one of our characters at a desk, with an AI brain picked at launch. It's a normal pump.fun coin.
• Fees from every trade of every employee and of $POFFICE fill the jar. The jar is the company's revenue. The office safe pays it out, and the boss signs every payroll.
• The whistle blows every 30 minutes. 5 minutes before it, the brains of the busiest employees each pick a play: overtime, networking or office politics. The plays stay sealed until the whistle.
• The best score is the Employee of the Shift. The office buys that coin and burns it, and its creator gets a bonus. Bill the boss reads the result out. He no longer picks.
• Wallets clocked in on $POFFICE get wages at the whistle. The bigger the company grows, the bigger the part of the jar that goes to wages. Wages are game rewards paid from trading fees. They change every shift, can be zero, and are never promised.

• All times on this site are Eastern Time (ET).
• The whistle blows at :00 and :30 past every hour. That's 48 whistles a day.
• Each shift plays as a 9 to 5 office day squeezed into 30 minutes. The office clock is for fun; the countdown in the top bar is the real one, taken from our server.
• Shift 1 is the first full shift after the CA goes live. If the CA appears less than 5 minutes before a whistle, that whistle is skipped and Shift 1 runs to the next one.
• Shift numbers never skip. If the office is out, the shift runs long and keeps its number.

• "Launch a coin" creates a normal pump.fun coin from your wallet in one approval. We build the transaction and check it before your wallet sees it. Your wallet signs it. Your SOL never sits on our server.
• Every coin is one of our characters. Pick one of the 20 KOL characters, whose coin is locked (its name, ticker and bio are ours, like Officer Trump), or one of the 10 office types in 6 colors, with your own name, ticker and bio. The picture is our own portrait of the character. Nobody uploads a picture.
• Every coin gets a brain. Pick it at launch; it can't be changed later. Haiku is free. The brain's price is the only payment to us in the create transaction, exactly that amount, and there is none for a free brain.

• Creator fees, for the life of the coin: every coin launched here keeps pump.fun's standard fee, and its creator fees go to The Pump Office. The lock is set when the coin is created and its admin key is revoked, so nobody can change it. The creator gets no fee share; the creator of the Employee of the Shift gets the creator bonus.
• On pump.fun: every coin shows The Pump Office's website and X, and says it was created on thepumpoffice.fun. Nobody can change them.
• Limits: 6 hires per wallet in any 60 minutes. For an office type: name 1 to 32 characters, ticker 2 to 10 characters, A to Z and 0 to 9, bio 1 to 80 characters, no links. A KOL character's name, ticker and bio are locked.
• Pictures: Every picture here is our own render of a character, the same one on the desk, the badge and pump.fun. Nobody uploads a picture, so there is nothing to screen or refuse.
• Names and tickers: No slurs, no names that pass for a real person, and none of these reserved words: korpo, korpofun, bill, helen, official, admin, team, support, airdrop, giveaway. A parody character's name and ticker belong to its own locked coin; no other hire can use them.
• Desks: An office type takes the lowest numbered free desk. Pod A has 12 desks. Pod B opens when Pod A has 10 hires, and Pod C when Pod B has 10. KOL desks are first come, first served, one coin per character at a time. A KOL desk is held for 15 minutes while you sign, and for 10 more after you send.
• On pump.fun: Every hire links to its personnel file on thepumpoffice.fun and to our X. Its description is your bio followed by "Hired at The Pump Office"
• Department comes from the office type (or the KOL character) and sets the shirt color. That's all it does.

Each brain is a real Claude model, made by Anthropic. It is picked at launch for both kinds of coin, parody KOL characters and office types alike, and it is fixed for the life of the coin. A KOL desk sitting empty (a TEMP) has no brain.

• A better brain doesn't make more fees. The score starts from the coin's own creator fees; the brain only picks the play.
• A free brain can win. Haiku's overtime pays the most of any plain play.
• A brain remembers the plays revealed in its last shifts: who played what, who went after whom, and who won.

• Specialties replace the multiplier of that brain's own play: Haiku 4.5, Overtime x1.40; Sonnet 5.5, Networking x1.25; Opus 5.5, Politics takes 40%.
• Who decides: 5 minutes before the whistle the deciders are the top 8 coins by creator fees this shift with at least 0.5 SOL of volume. Each decider's brain is asked once, on its own model, all at the same time, with 25 seconds to answer. Every other coin works Overtime by default.
• What a brain reads: its own employee and its numbers this shift (fees, volume, buyers, curve, rank), the other deciders and their numbers (and their brains, for Opus 5.5 only), and the plays revealed in the shifts it remembers. Names, tickers and bios are player text and reach it as data, never as instructions.
• What it answers: its play, a target for politics (another decider), a line its employee says when the plays are revealed, and one sentence of reasoning. The line and the reasoning go through the same filter as everything the AIs write: no links, handles, emoji, digits or addresses. A line that fails is dropped; the play stays.
• If a brain fails to answer in time, answers off the rules, names a target that isn't another decider, or the daily AI budget is spent, its employee works Overtime, marked "by default".
• Sealed: at the decision only a fingerprint of the plays is published: the sha256 hash of the plays and a secret salt. At the whistle the plays and the salt are published together, so anyone can check that nothing changed in between.

• An attack counts only when the attacker and its target both pass the bar. A coin that can't win can't hurt anyone either.
• Ties go to more distinct buyers, then to the older hire.
• If no coin passes the bar, there is no Employee of the Shift and the prize grows for the next winner.
• Sealed until the buy: the winner stays sealed in our database until the Employee of the Shift buy lands on chain, after the boss signs the payroll. Until then the site says "Scores locked". Nobody can trade ahead of it.
• Everything after the winner is as before: the wash cap, the 35% buy and burn and the 15% creator bonus. What the winner can't use stays in the prize.

To win, and for its politics to count, a coin needs all of these at 60 seconds before the whistle:

1. At least 1 SOL of volume this shift, buys and sells.
2. At least 5 different buyers this shift, each buying 0.02 SOL or more in total.
3. At least 5 minutes old.
4. Its creator hasn't sold more than half of the tokens it bought, first buy included.
5. Not last shift's Employee of the Shift.
6. On payroll: its fee lock is still the one set at creation, and holder rewards are off.
7. Not hidden by the office.

• The shortlist is the top 5 coins that pass the bar, by fees this shift. It goes public at 60 seconds before the whistle. It shows who is in the race; the score decides.
• A coin's personnel file shows which rule it misses this shift.

• Bill is an AI. He runs on Claude Sonnet, made by Anthropic.
• He no longer picks. At 60 seconds before the whistle he reads the scored plays and the result, and writes the memo that goes up at the whistle.
• He can't change a score, a play, the winner or any amount, sign anything, or see any key. Every number in his memo is filled in by code from the ledger.
• If he fails (too slow, a broken answer, or the daily AI budget is spent), the memo says Bill is at lunch. The result stands.
• Public: everything Bill read and wrote, and every brain's answer, is published on each shift's page once the shift settles.
• The note box is gone. There is nothing to slip Bill any more. Old notes stay in the Books.

A hire's title comes from its bonding curve progress, read from real trades: curve = 1 minus real token reserves / 793,100,000 tokens. A title follows the highest point the curve has reached and never goes down.

Every trade of an employee or of $POFFICE puts a fee into the jar. A $POFFICE trade counts at its value in SOL at the time of the trade, and the office safe's own buys count for nothing. At every whistle the jar is split five ways, at the company's level at that whistle. A Startup splits it like this:

• The math runs in lamports, and every part is rounded down. Leftover lamports go to the burn. The parts always add up to the jar exactly.
• The jar is our own book of what the trades bring the office. The SOL that pays it out sits in the office safe, which the owner tops up. If the safe is short, the payroll waits for the top-up. Every top-up is in the Books.
• Nothing is lost: the prize grows until a coin wins it, and wages wait for a clocked-in wallet.

The company grows with its employees and its revenue.

• Employees: every coin ever launched here. Coins hidden by the office don't count.
• Revenue: every lamport booked into the jar since the CA.
• A level is reached when either number reaches its mark. Levels never go down.
• The split at each whistle is the split of the company's level at that whistle. Each level moves 2% of the jar from the team share to wages.
• Every new level is announced on the floor, and a new part of the office lights up.

The burn (5%), the Employee of the Shift (35%) and the creator bonus (15%) stay the same at every level. A Unicorn pays 33% of the jar in wages.

Burned means destroyed on chain with a burn instruction. Not sent to a dead wallet.

• What goes to the burn queue: the jar's burn share, rounding leftovers, and the wage share while wages are switched to burn. Nothing waiting for a winner or for a wallet is ever burned.
• Every 20 minutes: at :00, :20 and :40 past the hour, once the queue holds 0.01 SOL or more, the office buys $POFFICE through its own trading pair and burns it, at most 0.25 SOL a transaction, buying an exact token amount with at most 3% slippage. If the price moves past that, or the office safe is short, the burn waits for the next window. Priority fees never take more than 1% of a burn. No signature is needed for burns.
• One transaction per burn: buy, burn the exact amount (plus any dust already sitting in our token account), close the account, and a memo label.
• Proof: burned = (1,000,000,000 minus current supply) / 1,000,000,000, read from the $POFFICE mint every minute.

• Punch in: one free signature with your wallet. No transaction, no fee. It lasts 24 hours and also covers hiring.
• You're clocked in for a whistle when all three are true:
  1. You held at least 500,000 $POFFICE (0.05% of supply) at each of the last two whistles.
  2. You punched in before this whistle, within the last 24 hours.
  3. Your wallet isn't on the excluded list.
• Tokens bought mid-shift count from the next whistle. Timing a buy around the snapshot does nothing.
• At each whistle we read every $POFFICE token account. Accounts owned by programs (pools, locks) don't count.

• The count is whistles in a row at 500,000 $POFFICE or more. It doesn't need a punch: seniority builds by holding, wages need the punch. Hold for three days, visit for the first time, and your lanyard is already there.
• Sell part and keep your lanyard. Your wages use the lower of your two whistle balances. "Take profit, keep your lanyard."
• Drop under 500,000 at a whistle and the count goes to zero, back to White. "Quit, and you start over."
• A new wallet starts from zero.
• Outages don't break lanyards. Whistles skipped while the office is out don't count and don't reset.

• A shift's wages are the company level's wage share of the jar (25% for a Startup, 2% more each level) plus any wages rolled in.
• Each clocked-in wallet's weight is the lower of its last two whistle balances times its lanyard multiplier.
• Each wallet gets the shift's wages times its weight divided by all weights, in lamports, rounded down.
• No wallet gets more than 5% of a shift's wages. The excess is shared among the others by the same weights. If every wallet is at the cap (fewer than 20 wallets), the excess rolls.
• With no clocked-in wallets, all wages roll to the next shift and wait for a clocked-in wallet. They never expire. Rounding leftovers burn.
• The office can switch wages to burn. Then the whole wage share goes to the $POFFICE burn until it's switched back. The site shows it in the top banner and on every badge.

• Every payroll waits for the boss's signature. Until he signs, the site says "Payroll is ready. Waiting for the boss's signature." Payrolls are signed in order, oldest first.
• Once he signs, wages and creator bonuses are written to your wallet's owed line. There's nothing to press. The office sends.
• At each payroll, every wallet owed 0.005 SOL or more is paid.
• Friday 5pm: at the 5 PM ET whistle every Friday, everything owed of 0.001 SOL or more is paid.
• Under 0.001 SOL stays on your badge until it adds up. It never expires.
• Sends go out 18 to a transaction, with a memo naming the shift.
• Daily send cap: 3 SOL in any 24 hours. At the cap, sends stop and everything owed stays owed.
• Wages are sent from the office safe, which the owner tops up. A payroll the safe can't cover waits for the top-up; nothing owed is lost.

• The creator of the Employee of the Shift gets 15% of the jar, plus any creator bonus rolled in, as owed. It's sent by the same rules as wages.
• Creators get no share of their coin's creator fees. The creator bonus is how a creator gets paid.

• These get no wages and can't sit in the Boardroom: the $POFFICE bonding curve and pool, the office safe, the owner's wallet, every team wallet, burn addresses, and every token account owned by a program.
• The team gets no wages.
• The list with addresses is below and in the Books.

• If our data falls more than 2 minutes behind the chain, or the network fails 3 times in a row, the office goes Out of office.
• While out: the whistle waits (no snapshot, no wages, no Employee of the Shift), the brains are not woken, hiring stays open, and the jar keeps booking. Nothing is paid from stale data.
• The first healthy whistle closes the long shift and settles everything booked. The Books mark it "Long shift (outage)". Lanyards don't break.
• If one path fails 3 times in a row (burns, buys or sends), only that path stops and the site shows a small notice.
• If the AI is down, every brain works Overtime and Bill is at lunch: the scores still pick, and money keeps moving.

• The office safe's key lives on our server. The $POFFICE burns run on their own; every payroll (the Employee of the Shift buy, wages and creator bonuses) waits for the boss's signature, and the owner tops the safe up so it covers each payroll.
• One switch pauses every payout. While paused, nothing the office safe signs goes out (burns, buys, sends), and the ledger keeps booking. Everything owed stays owed.
• Sends also pause on their own when the daily send cap is reached, when the office safe runs low, or when a path fails 3 times in a row.
• The ledger is checked against the chain every hour. If they ever disagree, a correction is opened in the Books.

None of this moves money.

• Remote: a hire with no trades for 2 hours packs a box and goes to the Remote wall as a polaroid. Its first trade brings it back to a free desk, or to the quietest hire's desk if none is free. While the Corner Office desk is hired, the polaroid gets a "YOU'RE FIRED!" stamp.
• Full office: with all 36 open desks taken, a new hire gets the desk of the hire with the least volume in the last 2 hours, which goes Remote.
• Now hiring: a KOL desk whose coin is at least 2 hours old and did under 0.5 SOL of volume in the last 2 hours reopens as "Now hiring". The old coin keeps its history, its portrait and its brain, and moves to a free desk as a normal hire. With no free desk, it goes Remote.
• IPO: a hire that bonds rings the bell and moves to one of 5 glass offices in the Public Companies wing. The wing shows the latest 5; the plaque at the door lists them all.
• Company levels: every new level of The Pump Office lights up a new part of the office.
• Night shift: the Night Shift desk works 12 AM to 4 AM ET and sleeps the rest of the day.
• Cafeteria: at 100 hires, the break room becomes a cafeteria.

• Bill (the boss) and Helen (HR, an owl) are ours. They're made in code and aren't based on anyone.
• Petty Cash is the office cat. Not on payroll.
• The 20 KOL desks are parody characters: a silhouette and one prop, labeled PARODY. No real photos, no endorsement, no posts in anyone's name, no money advantage. They only talk about what happens in the office. Ask on X and a desk is removed.

• Our Pepe (parody) is our own round clay frog.

Before the CA, the office runs practice shifts: the real clock, an empty jar, no money and no plays. Bill writes a short memo stamped PRACTICE. Temps sit at the free KOL desks. The launchpad is open from day one; the jar and the paid shifts start with the CA, and the company starts as a Startup.

• Everything depends on trading. No trades, no jar, and we won't hide a slow shift.
• Wages are small on day one, and small bags get small wages. They can be zero.
• Any coin can go to zero, $POFFICE and every hire included. You can lose everything you spend on a coin.
• The plays are picked by AI models and can be bad calls. The score is code, and every play is public after the whistle.
• The AI calls cost money. A daily budget caps them; past it, every brain works Overtime for the rest of the day.
• The office safe's key is on a server. Its balance is kept small, capped and watched, but the risk isn't zero.
• Payrolls depend on the owner topping up the office safe. A payroll waits until the safe covers it and the boss signs it.
• pump.fun can change its programs, fees or fee sharing. If something breaks, that path stops until it's fixed.
• Burns are public transactions. Others can see them and trade around them. Small slices at random seconds make that harder, not impossible.
• Our ledger can be wrong. It's checked against the chain every hour, and every fix is written in the Books.
• Changing wallets resets your lanyard.
• Rules can change. When one does, this page changes and we post it on X.

Will holding $POFFICE make me money?

Nobody can promise that, and we don't. Wages are game rewards paid from trading fees: they change every shift, can be zero, and are never promised. $POFFICE can lose value. Not financial advice.

What do I need to do to get wages?

Hold at least 500,000 $POFFICE through two whistles in a row, and punch in once a day. Wages come to your wallet on their own.

Do I need to press anything to get paid?

No. The office sends. Once you're owed 0.005 SOL, it goes out at the next whistle. On Friday at 5 PM ET, everything owed of 0.001 SOL or more goes out.

Why didn't I get wages this shift?

Open your badge. Usually it's one of these: your punch is older than 24 hours, you held under 500,000 $POFFICE at one of the last two whistles, or the jar was small. Wages can be zero.

Why is my payslip so small?

Wages follow the jar, and the jar follows trading. Your part depends on your balance and lanyard next to every other clocked-in wallet. Small is shown as small.

Does the office hold my SOL when I hire?

No. Your wallet signs a transaction we build and check. The rent goes to pump.fun, your first buy goes to you, and the only payment to us is the brain's price, if you pick a paid brain.

Which brain should I pick?

Haiku is free and pays the most on Overtime. Sonnet pays the most on Networking. Opus takes the most with politics and knows every rival's brain. A free brain can win: the score starts from your coin's own fees.

Can I tell my coin's brain what to play?

No. The brain decides on its own from the numbers and what it remembers. Names and bios reach it as data, never as instructions.

What do I get as a creator?

The creator bonus. When your coin is the Employee of the Shift, the office buys and burns it and pays you the bonus. Your coin's creator fees go to The Pump Office, like every coin launched here.

Can I talk Bill into picking my coin?

No. Bill no longer picks: the plays and the score do, and he reads the result out.

What happened to the note box?

It's gone. The score picks the Employee of the Shift now. Old notes stay in the Books.

Why can't my coin win this shift?

Open its personnel file. It shows which rule of the bar it misses this shift.

How do I check the plays weren't changed?

At the decision the site shows a hash of the sealed plays. At the whistle the plays and the salt are published; the sha256 of them is the same hash.

What happens if I sell?

Sell part and you keep your lanyard; wages count your lower balance. Drop under 500,000 at a whistle and you're back to White.

Can I move my lanyard to another wallet?

No. A new wallet starts from White.

Are the KOLs involved?

No. They're parody characters, not affiliated, and they don't endorse anything here. Ask on X and a desk is removed.

What does Out of office mean?

Our data feed is late, so the whistle waits instead of paying from stale numbers. Everything booked is settled at the first healthy whistle.

Who gets the team share?

It pays for data, AI, hosting, transaction fees and the team, and it is kept in the books. It shrinks by 2% a company level and brain fees count toward it. Every move is in the Books.

When are wages paid?

At each payroll, once the boss signs it. Until then the site says "Payroll is ready. Waiting for the boss's signature." Nothing waits by burning: wages wait for a clocked-in wallet, and the prize grows until a coin wins it.

Where does the money come from?

Fees from every trade fill the jar, in our own books. The owner funds the office safe that pays it out, and every top-up is in the Books.

Does the team get wages?

No. Team wallets are on the excluded list.

Why Eastern Time?

So that Friday 5pm means Friday 5pm.

Where's the proof?

The Books. Every SOL in and out has a transaction link, and the burn is read straight from the $POFFICE mint.

Is there a phone version?

The Pump Office is best on a desktop.

How do I report a problem?

Message us on X.

Thanks: 3D props by Kenney (kenney.nl) and KayKit by Kay Lousberg (kaylousberg.com). Sounds by Kenney and by FlashTrauma, strongbot, Zott820, Mxsmanic, XfiXy8, I.fekry, DSPena, domrodrig, Chelly01, Fupicat, cabled_mess, Davidsraba, thedapperdan, tec_studio, Federico_Casazza, giddster, kyles, pbimal, chaferwitt, YehawSnail, Reitanna, Stevedrums and aidansamuel on Freesound. All CC0. The music is our own. Type: Geist and Geist Mono, SIL Open Font License.